Attack of the Vampire Weenies
and Other Warped and Creepy Tales

This file contains a synopsis of each story, followed, in many cases, by discussion questions, activities, or other information designed for classroom use. The stories are listed in the order they appear in the book.

"Not Another Word"

A boy who can't stand mimes decides to drive one away by mocking him.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Irony abounds in this story. Note that midway through the story, the narrator mentions that he can't imagine why anyone would spend his days as a mime. Ironically, he finds out the answer. Some students might appreciate the irony when the mime says, "You'll never see me again." The final irony comes when the narrator becomes the silent one.

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"Get out of Gym for Free"

A gym teacher offers his students a way for one kid in the class to get out of gym for the whole year. By the end of the story, the students discover he has an ulterior motive.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Much of the humor in this story comes from the use of hyperbole.

See if students can think up ways that teachers of other subjects could reduce class size.

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"Ghost in the Well"

A girl is lured to a well by a ghost who asks the girl to help her find peace. Things are not what they seem.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Note how the somber tone of the story is reinforced by the longer descriptions.

The title is punning reference to "Ghost in the Shell." There is no intentional significance to this. It was just done for the joy of wordplay.

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"It's Only a Game"

When a boy hooks up an ancient video game to modern technology, he find hismelf playing a game that is much more realistic than he realizes.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

The main device of interest here is the parallel structure, with two separate narratives, each told by way of third-person limited viewpoint.

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"Attack of the Vampire Weenies"

A boy tries to convince his older sisters that vampires aren't handoms eand sparkly. When she refuses to listen to him, he decides to find a real vampire to crash her party.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Ask the class to examine how vampires in books and movies have changed over the years. What other imaginary creatures have gotten new images. (Consider ogres and gremlins. Before Shrek, ogres were not adorable. Before the movie Gremlins came along, gremlins were adorable.)

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After her father steals a cable signal from a witch, a young lady is confined to a tower, where she has nothign to do but watch television and let her hair grow.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

The mention of a newt and a minnow is a reference to Newton Minow, who coined the phrase, "Vast wasteland."

Like most of my fractured fairy tales, this one is written with an omniscient viewpoint. See if the students can think up some advantages and disadvantages of this viewpoint. Why is it a good one for fairy tales (whether fractured or traditional)?

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After a boy steals a set of high-tech headphones, he learns what "ogranic" really means.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

The original title for this story was "Ear Buds." Often, a better title hits me at some point during the revision process. I've even changed titles after the manuscript has gone through copy editing.

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"Fourth and Inches"

A boy watching his favorite football team suddenly finds himself on the field with a tough call to make.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

This is a nice way to show that things look different from different perspectives. Ask the students if they've ever gotten angry at someone and then realized their anger was misplaced.

For students interested in writing fantasy, point out that the moment of magical transition is accompanied by, or possibly even created by, a moment of physical transition when Willy falls from his seat. (As is the moment when he returns to the normal world.)

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A boy tries to destroy a colony of ants, but they keep mutating in alarming ways.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

This story represents, in miniature, a classic form of horror. Each attempt to stop the monsters just makes things worse, until things get as bad as possible. And then they get even worse.

The idea for a story about mutating ants was inspired by the pun contained in "mutants." See if the students can find other words that inspire story ideas in the same way.

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"Cat Got Your Nose?"

A girl's father promises her she can get a kitten if she can prove to him that cats don't smell. She gets to work on a solution.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Note that the title is a playful revision of a familiar idiom.

Ms. Reaker's name is symbolic.

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"The Ride of a Lifetime"

After a thudnerstorm thwarts his attempt to ride a new rolloer coaster during the day, a boy steals a ticket for a midnight ride.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Note the irony in the title.

See if the students can spot Zack's moment of decision. He almost gives the ticket back.

This is a classic example of the "be careful what you wish for" story.

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Sean becomes a bird when he says, "Chirp." After keeping his secret for many years, he finally finds someone to confide in.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

While many stories foreshadow the ending, this one requires the opposite trick. The reader needs to be misdirected, to keep him from guessing what could be an obvious ending. That's why Jennifer is so heavily camouflaged with birds. If you are reading this aloud, ask the students to raise their hand if they think they know what is about to happen.

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While on vacation with her family in Mexico, a girl who accidentally killed her sister's fish seeks the help of a Bruja, who gives her a potion to bring the fish back to life.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

If your students are writing stories, point out how small details can help anchor a story in reality. In the first paragraph, I could have written "fish," but I chose the more specific option of "neon tetras."

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"Elf Improvement"

An elf starts tormenting a boy, getting him into all sorts of trouble in school.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

This is a nice twist on the theme of "mysery loves company." For older students, you can discuss whether it is better for something to be unfair to one person or to be equally unfair to a group.

For young writers, point out that the description in the first sentence does double duty. It not only sets the scene, but establishes that the window is open.

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Two boys discover a man chained to a wall in a secret chamber beneath a basement floor. After they realize he must be a vampire, they decide to expose him to sunlight.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Ask the students what they would do if they stumbled across this situation.

The power in this story comes from the reader accepting that the characters are correct in their belief.

Note the irony at the end when Fang repeats the words the narrator had spoken earlier.

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A young inventor builds a transubstantiator that turns soap into delicious candy. When everyone grows fat and stinky, he realizes he needs to go back to the drawing board.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

This is a good example of an omniscient viewpoint.

The story illustrates that actions can have unintended consequences.

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A boy wonders why the road crew at the end of his street never seems to do any work. He gives in to his curiosity and asks them. He gets an unexpected answer.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Common things often make the best basis for horror tales. We've all seen road crews that seem to be standing around or waiting for something. Stories happen when we ask questions. "What are they waiting for?"

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"Finders Losers"

When tot-finder stickers get damaged, bad things happen to the kids whose windows the stickers came from.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information

Note that much of the characterization here is done by way of dialogue.

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"Cloudy with a Chance of Message"

When girl sees a cryptic message in the clouds, she becomes obsessed with trying to decipher it.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

The title is obviously a reference to Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs.

Note the personification in the last line.

Ask the students what they do to relax. Ask them if they think there was a real message.

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A boy is frustrated by his inability to understand the game his family plays every week.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

The challenge in writing this story was to create nonsense terms that, though indecipherable, still seemed plausible. Note the combination of made-up words, such as "triskum," and nonsense phrases made from regular words, such as "box the end leapers."

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"Gee! Ography "

A boy manages to do well in a geography bee, despite having no idea what the answers are.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

As a fun activity, have the students to think up questions that could be accidentally answered. They could do this for any subject, not just geography. It's a nice way to have them look at knowledge from a different direction.

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"The Spider Shouter"

A boy discovers he can make spiders do what he wants by shouting at them.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

I'd originally thought of a spider whisperer, but was drawn in a different direction by the alliteration.

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"The Pyramid Man"

A man comes to a village and offers to make everyone rich by selling them small, wooden pyramids that they can then sell to others.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

This is a great way for kids to learn about pyramid schemes. The idea can be expanded to other related things such as chain letters and multi-level marketing. They can also learn that a pyramid scheme is different from a Ponzi scheme.

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A girl puts off walking a dog for too long, at which point the dog teacher her a lesson.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Though the story is light-hearted, it raises the serious issue of how we treat our pets.

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Two boys get lost in a museum's rain-forest exhibit.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

This is a good one to read before a field trip.

The story touches on the concept of doing accurate research and finding relaible sources.

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A boy who loves being first end up in a situation where he doesn't last.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

The challenge here was to figure out a way to get all five of Chuck's friends to leave the theater in a believable manner.

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"Dragon Around"

When a princess is captured by a dragon so he can lure knights to his cave, she finds a way to keep him happy without any need for bloodshed.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

The story touches on ecological issues, and on our competitive nature.

The opening paragraph offers a good example of how to give a description through the eyes (and ears) of a character.

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"Lost and Found"

Two boys find a monogrammed handkerchief and decide to return it to its owner, in hopes of a reward.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

If you need to reinforce the idea that students should never go into a stranger's house, this story will jab home the point.

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A boy wonders where cooties end up when kids stop passing them around.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

I think of this story as a modern myth.

The ending is a bit more literary than usual for a Weenies story.

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"My Science Project"

A boy's science project is stolen by bullies. They eventually realzxie they made a bad mistake.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Yet one more reason not to be a bully.

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"The Blacker Cat"

A girl is given a copy of Poe's "The Black Cat" by her uncle. The story terrifies her. The next day, her uncle gives her a black cat.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Older students who are familiar with Poe might catch the reference in Uncle Roderick's name.

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A boy sees tiny people living in the model house that came with his train set. He doesn't treat them very nicely.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

Note how Avery defines "in scale" for Jasper (and for the reader). Dialogue is a good way to pass along information without seeming didactic, as long as the information isn't something the other character would obviously already know.

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"A Cure for the Uncommon Vampire"

After a boy invents a cure for vampirism, he sets out to give it to those who need it.

Discussion / Activities / Other useful information:

The narrator spends so much time talking about how smart he is, it is a pleasure to see him outsmarted.

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