Here is an assortment of phrases guaranteed to get a children's book manuscript stuffed back into an SASE faster than you can say "multiple submission." Use them at your own risk.
1. My grandchildren really loved it when I read it to them.
2. My neighbors all told me it should be published.
3. I figured you were tired of publishing junk, so I'm sending you this really great book.
4. My main character is an Afghanistani boy, but I don't know all that much about them. If you like the plot, I can go back and do some real research, if you think that's necessary. He could also be a Bedouin, I guess. Do Bedouin kids have frogs as pets?
5. Enclosed herein please find a copy of my fiction novel.
6. Here's my book. Please take a look. It all rhymes. Some times.
7. Once upon a time there was an author who wrote a great book.
8. Dear Editor....
9. Your really gonna like this book because it's story is very unique.
10. Hi remember me? We met at the national conference. I was in the stall next to you in the bathroom. I gave you some samples of my work. Remember?
"World's Best Query Killers" Copyright © 1997 by David Lubar
Back to HUMOR
Back to HOME<! end of footer>