Cry-Away

Awards season is almost here. The American Library Association's midwinter conference is just a couple weeks away. You know what that means. If you're in the running for a prestigious ALA award or YALSA book list, the wait can be brutal. Well, stress no more.

Introducing Cry-Away

Thanks to amazing advances in cryogenic technology, we are now able to freeze you into a state of suspended animation. For a modest fee, we can help those dreadful pre-conference weeks pass in a flash of frozen bliss. No more haunting the ALA web site, clicking on the refresh button with the frenzy of a Skinnerian pigeon. No more scanning lists of committee members and trying to remember which one you bonded with and which one you spilled a drink on last year. No more fruitless searches through Amazon in an attempt to dig up just one bad reader review of the competition.

Cry-Away offers three convenient plans, to match all levels of author angst and neediness.

Plan A—The Hemingway: We gently wake you as soon as the Printz, Caldecott, and Newbery are announced. If you've won, we hand you a glass of champagne. If you've lost, we hand you the whole bottle.

Plan B—The Washington Irving: We wake you after all the awards and lists have been announced. If you prefer, we can keep you frozen until the first state award nominations start rolling in.

Plan C—The Hamlet: We only wake you if you win.

We are conveniently located at numerous Mom and Popsicle locations nationwide. Call today for a free brochure. Operators are standing by.

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Attention, Authors!